February 14th comes around once again, following what feels like just days after the New Year. And although many may spend their time with the ones they love, for those of us going through break ups, it is a time of heartache and sleepless nights. Remember a simpler time when Valentine’s Day meant box cards and candies instead of heartbreak and headaches?
“If I can just get through this crappy holiday, it will all be okay.” Most of us have been there.
After being in a relationship for eight years, it feels like there is no other way to spend Valentine’s Day, but with her. It feels like everywhere you go there are reminders of the pain you're trying to forget. Flowers and heart shaped candies appearing everywhere you look. Happy couples and smiles everywhere you go. Going through a break up right before Valentine’s day can be unbearable.
But you are not alone!
It can seem like the world is mocking you with its love; that there is no escape. But here are a few tips and tricks to distract yourself long enough to survive V(D)-Day.
Stay Out of Your Head (Reach Out)
For me it is easy to get on a dark train of thought and get stuck there for a long time. So as soon as you start thinking negatively, remind yourself of all the positive things you have in your life. It can seem like there are no positives, but find just one tiny aspect of your life to focus on and improve. For me it’s like I get into my head so hard that I feel like I’m the only person on the Earth going through something. Reaching out to family and friends can feel like I’m burdening everyone with my problems. Bu no one can get through a break up alone, and it is important to seek company in a healthy way.
Avoid Drinking (Alone)
Drinking alone can feel like it numbs you and takes the pain away, but it really just brings those feelings on ten-fold. Go out and get a drink with some friends and have a good time, but at all costs DON’T drink alone! Most break up mistakes are made under the influence and you may wake up tomorrow feeling even worse if mistakes were made.
Listen to Uplifting Music
We all want nothing more than to listen to gloomy music when we are feeling blue, but I find it’s best to avoid sad music all together. Think of the most uplifting song you can think of and create a music station! Most of the time it will stay positive, but if it starts to get sad create a new station or just skip those songs. I slowly add songs that I like that are positive to a playlist, so eventually you can just play that playlist to distract yourself.
Writing (Venting) to Yourself
Sometimes it’s like phantom texting. It feels weird not having that person to tell EVERYTHING to anymore. But sometimes it's better to write a message your ex will never read. If I feel like there is something that has gone unsaid, or perhaps I just need to vent, I write out a text on a document and then read it. You can sometimes even discover how you truly feel about everything going on and give yourself the opportunity to learn.
This is for you, nobody else needs to see it. But then again, maybe you decide to write an article about your feelings for a rad website...
Cleaning the Floor Boards (Or Any Task)
It’s very humbling to get down on your hands and knees to improve something that may go unnoticed by most. This activity isn’t easy work, but you can just do it inside where there's air conditioning. It is much less miserable than most housework. Someone’s gotta do it anyways! There are plenty of tasks aside from cleaning the floor boards to keep you busy. Put in your headphones (use that uplifting playlist!) and just get to work! There is no better distraction then hard work. Give it your all. Nothing helps a broken heart like a sense of accomplishment.
“Living well is the best revenge” - George Herbert
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